The Skew - Serial Killah Whales

This week the Skew is taking on a different format.  We're just going to show you our banter back and forth about a topic!  It makes for a funny post and also an EASY post as we're all swamped!  We' d love for you to chime in either on your blog or in the comments sections.  This is a great topic.

Disclaimer: I tried to read back over it and clean up their language. If I missed something, I apologize to my fellow southerners for Supah, Chief, and MITTB being heathens.

SERIAL KILLER WHALES 

CHIEF: 

So I get back from vacation and I'm telling family about my amazing whale
watching experience and my dad breaks in with a story about a whale in
captivity.

In Florida right?

Who attacked a trainer, pulled her down by the hair and drowned her.  I was
devastated because I am not a person who loves the fact that animals are
forced into captivity.  I do love sea world... but I don't love our local
zoo because they keep these animals out of the environment.

Polar bears in 100 degree heat.

Elephants in small areas

So I don't go.  Will not go.

So I hear about an animal who attacks someone while in captivity and I am
sad for the trainer and I am sad for the animals.

Then I hear that this same whale has attacked before?

And they keep him in the act?

Is that what the true story is?

 SUPAH:

Yeppers.  You heard right.  He's a "serial killer" whale. 

They cannot release him into the elements of a natural enivornment ala " the free willy whale" because his system can't sustain the introduction of the bacteria etc.. from a natural envirnoment.  He'll die. So he swims in a fish tank until he dies I guess. 

I sounded really kinda smart when I said those things up top huh?  You all want me.

CHIEF: 

Just stuck in a cage…

I understand why… it just makes me sad

Society is weird

SUPAH:

Yes.  A "water cage."  

I think they call them there .. erquariums.  

CHIEF: 

So he is not going to be in the shows?

ENTER MOMMY IS IN THE BATHROOM :

WOW what a shock??? A KILLER whale, a wild animal, that has hurt or killed two other people, SHOCKINGLY killed the trainer....

seriously... so sick of the whole, woah.. this is a such a surprise! That poor trainer. BS.. she clearly is aware of the dangers a WHALE can posess. Horrible way to go, but it's kinda in the job description of working with wild animals.. dontcha think?

A WHALE isn't a puppy. Even if the whale was as friendly as a puppy, it's still 200 #*$& tons and 30 ft long... IT WILL KILL YOU. How is this any more shocking than when some drunk frat boy jumps over the fence over tiger cage and is eaten to death?

CHIEF:

And now it is in a cage

ugh

Mommy is in the Bathroom

RIGHT?? Like it's the whales fault.......for being a whale.

and they can't release it because of all that supah marine biologist extrodainaire referred to up there. 

SUPAH
 I am imagining taking Kota the whale for a walk on a leash.  

"Kota is not a puppy. "  

I bet I could get a sponsor to make Kota  jacket.  

OMG .. I just said to DBD...Hey was that whales name Kota?

He goes. NO.  It's Shamoo. <-------- totallly serious.  

I fell over  ALL WHALES ARE NOT #$&% NAMED SHAMOO DBD!!

- Show quoted text -

 CHIEF

I think it was Shamu

Googling it

  MOMMY IS IN THE BATHROOM 

lmfao.. actually, a lot of them are or used to be i think.....

shamoo or willy... those are the only two acceptable whale names

MOMMY IS IN THE BATHROOM 

remember the mj song for Free Willy? One of my favs

carry me to the river jordan and i will then say to thee you are my frieeeeeeeennndd

Thats for you shamu, shamoo, kota, willy...

and kota is the morning host of the today show lmfao.. not a whale lol

- Show quoted text -

SUPAH:  I say let him loose.  Like King Kong..  or jaws.  

 OMG IT 'S KOTA !! RUNNNNN... OR WAIT... 

swiiiiiiiiiiiiiim for your life !

CHIEF:

Tilikum

That’s his name

Most are Shamu

Tell DBD you are sorry

Mommy is in the bathroom:

OMG THIS IS KOTA... quit calling the whale kota....

oh never mind her name is hoda......

whatever

SUPAH:   NEEEEEVER.  I SHALL NEVER tell him.   ( DBD.. THAT HE WAS CORRECT.. SLIGHTLY)  




CHIEF:

Tilikum!

Don’t you read my sh*t I send you?

SUPAH:

 hoda.... I AM DEAD ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING. 

  

MOMMY IS IN THE BATHROOM

alright well this whale has to go hop in the shower.. got a hot date with alice n wonderland tonight

SUPAH:

sweet!   jealous.  i have a hot date with some lasagna and a piece of hot a$$ garlic bread. 

SUPAH:

 How about the people at the show who " reported " to the TV news what they saw Kota do.... weren't even sad it seemed.  I would have been so horrified I woulda been huddled in the corner singing the MJ song MIITb referred to. 

Which by the way I loved.  

I sooo wanted to be that little kid.. and have willy jump over me. 

He woulda knocked me over I bet. 

CHIEF:  

TILIKUM!!!!

Break that name down into three words

LMAO!

SUPAH:

 OH MY GOD.. THE HORROR.  

til i kum. 

TERRIBLE.  

SUPAH:  

 you do know that kota .. wait... WILLY was moved out to a  coralled area in the actual bay .. soemwhere.. in hopes that he could learn to hunt etc.. but still be in a "water cage" <----chiefs coined term  

he never learned to hunt

and he withered and died 

starved

*  I'm going to red lobster for dinner .. gotta go ! 

CHIEF:

You a$$!

  ENTER PRINCESS: 

Dear Lord. I'm gone all day and this is what I come home to find? 

When did ya'll join PETA?! Next thing I know, you guys will all be demanding they ban restaurants from serving dog meat.

Let's worry about the humans before we save all the animals. What about those people they capture and force them to ride 15 at a time in a Volkswagon wearing big red floppy shoes and KISS make up?! Huh? What about THOSE poor people! And just try to release on of those clowns to the general public. Think they'd survive? I think not.

*smooches™

CHIEF:

Huh? 

 (*Chief totally missed my reference to circus clowns)

Not that I don’t feel sorry for the people

I feel sorry for them that they choose to work with wild animals that are wired to kill. 

SUPAH:
dude.. you guys. These animals are smart.  I saw the most INSANELY crazy a$$ video of these WHALES.. no joke giving a training lesson to their calfs on how to kill a seal.  

I lie you nOT. 

THe seal was stranded on an iceberg.   Ark arking away.  So sad.  

The whales FORMED A LINE and swam TOGETHER towards the iceberg creating a WAVE that would send the poor furry critter ( are seals furry? no.. they're not.. but furry SOUnds CUTER..  )  send the poor FURRY CUTE critter.. stranded on that iceberg.. ark arking.. for his life... send him sliding harrowingly towards the edge where the other whales LIE WAITING.    

They did it OVER AND OVER until he eventually was washed into the ocean... 

and I cried.  

This is what people are getting into the water with !  SMART KILLER WHALES!  Kota kILLAHS!  

Not to mention how pissed they must be to be turning tricks for sardines.  

WTF?? throw them a tuna or something.  Do you NOT see the size of the whales??? 

PRINCESS: 

YES I SAW THE SIZE OF THE WHALES!! <----every summer in Myrtle Beach

CHIEF: 

And you wouldn’t get in a pool with them would you?

PRINCESS: 

Duh. OF COURSE I WOULD!!! <-----they make me look skinny.

SUPAH:

She likes to ride the "whale" * wink . 

PRINCESS:

I'm tellin' the prince you called him fat. You will no longer be his favorite harem wife...

SUPAH:

 i was referring to his 'DORSAL FIN"

AND THERE YOU HAVE IT.  This week's SKEW.  What are YOUR thoughts on Serial Killer Whales?  

Survivor Challenge-Warning: Lameness Involved

This week's challenge for Supah's Survivor game was

H.A.R.D. HARD!!

We were challenged to build a house of cards. Whoever got the most levels would get immunity. 

I spent about 15 minutes on it before I realized I did not have what it takes to build a winning house of cards. 

I needed something..............really bad.

What did I need?

His HANDS! I needed his hands....the HANDS OF A NEUROSURGEON!!

Sheesh. 

You people.

Always in the gutter....

Anyanatomy....I DON'T have his *ahem* hands. 

My hands are more like this...

Which means my house of cards looks like this...

And yes, I forgot my sunglasses and you can't even tell I am wearing my boa and my tiara, but the chances of getting two levels again without spending two hours on those cards are really slim. So this is the pic you get. I don't have the patience for a do over! 

So there you have it. I am sure it is quite a disappointment after last week's landslide victory in the marshmallow challenge. I'm just glad I was able to COMPLETE the challenge!! 

If you want to see all the people who beat me like a dog who chewed your favorite pair of shoes competed against me, click on the survivor button over on the right and see all the links. If I make it through the vote, I plan to crush my competition try really, really hard in whatever the challenge is next week.

Post It Notes: Edition #16-To Do List

And now...another edition of Post It Note Tuesdays. The MeMe/Carnival that is sweeping the bloggy nation...and quite possibly the ONLY sweeping that is going on in homes around America...

The Skew - American Idol

This week on....THE SKEW!! 

American Idol

Who’s your early pick? Do you like the addition of Ellen? Will you miss Simon next year? Why doesn’t Ryan Seacrest go ahead and come out of Lance Bass’s closet?

Give us your Skew and link up.

=============================================

I don't even know if I can type this post out.

I am sick....to my stomach....

I have marshmallowitis.

I think it might be deadly.

If you have no clue what I'm talking about....look at the post below this one.

First off, let me say that I do not miss Paula Abdul one iota. And I don't think I would miss Kara if she ran off to rehab Bora Bora with ol' flap yer hands like a seal Paula either.

And Ellen started off flat. She was BORING the first week. This week was a bit better. I think she thought she was there for real musical critique. Ummmmm...no, you are there to make fun of Simon and Ryan...and Randy if he wears that sweater again! 

What the heck?! When did Mister Rogers come out with a clothing line?

Anyidol, (did that annoy you MIITB?) I wonder if I'm the only one who notices the tension between Ellen and Simon? You would think they would want those two sitting beside each other so that they could feed off each other's personalities. I guess Simon tried to ride Ellen's Portia. *insert rim shot*

Who will they get to take Simon's place next year? mememememememe!! I heard rumor that Perez Hilton's name has been thrown around. I bet Ryan will be sweating bullets if that happens. He won't be able to try to pretend he's straight funny anymore. 

Now...on to the contestants:

Big Mike Lynch: I love him and his teddy bear demeanor.

Alex Lambert: Great performance. Bad mullet.

Todrick Hall: Three thumbs down.

Jermaine Sellers: WTH?! Did you see his post performance diatribe? Watch somewhere after the 5:30 mark.

Andrew Garcia: I bet he got his neck tattooed to keep from getting his hiney kicked on the playground because of his coke bottle Drew Carey glasses. This week was a bit lame, but I became a fan when he gave us his rendition of "Straight Up" which was originally murdered sung by Paula Abdrool.

Lee Dewyze: I'll take a slice of that. 

And now for the girlz...

Crystal Bowersox: I am so happy they changed the whole show up for her found a way to make it work so that she could perform this week. She's amazing. I've liked her from the very beginning. I hope she is truly okay and that her diabetes will not keep her from finishing out the competition. That would be a real Chris Daughtry Shakespearean tragedy.

Haley Vaughn: Disappointed me. She's got a big voice....and a lithp like Thupah. <-----that is for saying ugly things about me to @shannonleetweed last night. I told you I would get revenge.

Katie Stevens: How old is she?! 13?! 84?! She's a youngin' with the soul of an oldin'. A-Maze-ing!

Didi Benami and Lilly Scott both have very interesting voices. 

Siobhan Magnus...someone needs to peel her skin back and make sure she's white. She might just be Aretha's daughter. Just sayin'...

So here are my picks for top 3...

Crystal Bowersox

Lee Dewyze

And either Big Mike or Andrew Garcia

The first two for pure, raw incredible talent...the last two for talent and likability. 

Of course, you might not want to listen to me. I didn't even pick Kris Allen to make it to the top 10 last year. But then again, I'm not an 8 year old girl with a crazy-text-to-vote finger either. Maybe American Idol should start coming on later after all the tweens are in bed. I'm off to write a letter to my congressman and see if we can make that happen....

I Was Robbed!! Twice!

Someone call 911!

I was robbed!!

Can you believe I didn't win Supah's Survivor challenge last week?!

And I actually thought I should have won the week before too.

For me it's not even about winning the prizes....it's the pure competition that lights my fire.

Here is my entry for the third competition. 

We had to eat live bugs and goat testicles on camera.

Watch the video below to see me puke if I was able to complete the challenge.

Ok...so I lied. 

Whatever. 

Sue me. <----No, really! Don't sue me!!!

Go Team Villains!

What I Meant to Say - 8th Edition

A few weeks ago, my girls and I went to lunch and a movie...The Lovely Bones. It was the same day the stupid condescending waiter got too close for comfort. 

Anyway, I meant to post about a couple of things I saw made a mental note to blog about while I was there. So here I am today with...

When the father brought his 12 year old daughter to see a movie about child abduction, rape, and murder....

What I said: Nothing. But I punched my friends and pointed it out to them and then we proceeded to talk about what a moron he was and how inappropriate it was on many levels.

What I meant to say: “Ummm...yes, Department of Social Services? I’d like to make a report.”

When the disgustingly annoying woman in front of us came in with her extra humongous  large tub of double buttered popcorn, jumbo Mountain Dew, and Moby Dick sized box of candy and then proceeded to chomp, slurp, chug, gulp, crunch, and smack the whole movie long...

What I said: Again, nothing...I punched my friends and discussed her lack of social graces.

What I meant to say: “Ummm...hello? Richard Simmons? We need an intervention. And do you happen to have the number for Miss Manners?”

And I would have said all that stuff (lie) if they didn’t have that strict “no cell phones” rule in the theater. Cuz I’m all bad like that. (another lie)

Join us tomorrow for THE SKEW

This week’s topic: American Idol

Who’s your early pick? Do you like the addition of Ellen? Will you miss Simon next year? Why doesn’t Ryan Seacrest go ahead and come out of Lance Bass’s closet?

Write your post and then come link up with us here on Thursday.

Look at the makeover I won from Regis and Kelly!!

Ok...that's not quite at all true. 


But I DID win a BLOG makeover from JESSICA at The Frilly Coconut from Jaden's Auction. 


I'm so happy that if I were at all limber I would be cutting cheese flips. But I'm not. So I won't. 


I will, however, suggest that if you are thinking of getting a makeover, you should go see Jessica! She is so easy to work with and will keep looking for more options upon your pushy demands not stop trying to please you though I'm sure she rolled her eyes every time I emailed her back until you are happy.


I finally feel like I have a space that is sassy speaks to me. And look at all this elbow room! Nothing is cut off on the edges!


Jessica even contacted the artist who originally designed my character and asked her to add a boa. And did you see my signature?! Awesome...right?!!


In honor of Jessica's awesomeness, I have declared this GO TO THE FRILLY COCONUT AND SCHEDULE YOUR NEW DESIGN DAY! 


It's official. With trumpets sounding and everything.







What are you doing?


This post is over.


Get moving.


Click and go.


Now.


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.
.


Because I SAID SO!!


Oh, but before you go...be sure to grab my new button.


P.S. Thanks Jessica!! I love it!! (And you.) *insert royal smile*