Thursday, December 2, 2010

Why I am going to marry my Droid and have it's babies....

I got a new phone. 

It's uses the android operating system.

I am in complete and utter love.

I am going to marry it and have it's babies.

I have been holding out FOREVER waiting for the iPhone to come to Verizon. I am a big Mac fan. I am also a big fan of good reception where ever I I have been scouring the interwebz for info about when the iPhone is coming. I've fallen for every single one of the rumors....and learned how to deal with the bitter disappointments. While waiting for EONS, I've become curious about the whole android thing. 

So the other day when the prince was getting a new phone, I asked the sales rep when they were getting the iPhone. My phone is a friggin' lemon and has not been sending out outgoing mail for several months now. It also freezes up nonstop. But I didn't want to use my upgrade to get the Droid X when I knew this time I think that Verizon is actually getting the iPhone! Long story less long, I walked out with a brand new free, low level, no frills phone that uses android OS. I can wait until later to use my upgrade when I see the iPhone in January at an undisclosed date not told to me by said salesrep my new bff and decide between it and the Droid X. What are my thoughts about the el cheapo, low man on the totem pole android phone?


Sure, the camera is pathetic and it doesn't even have a flash. (I can just keep a flashlight in my pocket.) And the keyboard is so tiny that it took me 10 minutes to type a simple sentence. But that was until I discovered Swype. After you get used to it, it is AWESOME! And you iPhone losers users like JennFab can't get it. I am also enjoying apps like Angry Birds and Ping!Chat...which basically lets you text/chat and send pics/videos with anyone else who has the app. 

But one of my mostest favoritest function is the VOICE TO TEXT feature. It is fantastic...for two reasons. 

One, Oprah won't see me texting and driving and get all "but you signed a contract" with me. I can simply talk into the mic and it translates my voice to text. 

The second reason? I will show you by posting a transcript of my convo with Chief

(She suggests you take a bathroom break before reading below. Go ahead. I'll wait.)

Bladder empty? Good. Proceed.

Actual texting convo:

Me: I'm trying something out maybe it'll work better for texting

Chief: With the new droid?

Me: omg omg I just talked and texted you

Chief: What the eff? Yer such a showoff

Chief: So, even with your southern twang it works?

Chief: Say y'all...

Me: lol yes it under stance my southern twang

Me: Well kind of lol

Chief: Omg...I just peed

Me: Going to have fun with this

Chief: That right there is blog fodder

Me: fosho baby fo sho

Chief: Say kiss my grits

Me: I am got bush alright

Chief: BS...did you just say that outloud?

Me: this morning that was nice to say it got folks ok right

Chief: wtf

Me: Okay so it's not perfect

Chief: I am got bush?

Chief: Omg...I think you've had a stroke.

Me: It was supposed to say "oh my gosh it even got fo sho right!" LOL...sooooo doing a blog post!! 

Me: I'm going in ToysRUs now

Chief: Have fuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnn.

Pause for about an hour

Me: omg I almost lost my religion in toys r us

Chief: lmfao...I shop online...what are you doing in store dumba**?

Me: Don't wanna pay shipping

Me: playlist friggin cashier

Me: lowest

Me: low west

Chief: Omg!!! Hahahahahaha

Chief: Slowest?

Me: yeah fff (Trying to say yesssssssss)

Me: ya honey laughing to the could tell I was in a rush and she was hurtful

Me: What the????

Me: the guy behind me but laughing

Me: he could tell I was in a rush

Me: lady walks like a turtle

Chief: Omg...I hope you get this convo on blogger

Me: I'm in tears laughing

Chief: I'm going cross eyed

Me: I can't wait to hear that with everyone

Me: there

Me: share

Me: Took 3 tries probably my accent

The story I was trying to tell Chief was that I had the slowest cashier. And then I was in a rush to beat the kids home from the bus win my mother of the year award get home and the lady walking in front of me was walking like a turtle through the exit. The guy behind me was laughing because he could tell I was in a rush and she was so annoyingly slooooow footed. But with the hilarity of the text translating errors softened my bah humbug heart and made me laugh all the way home. All 80 mph of it...


Leiah said...

That's flippin hilarious! I have that on my phone too (Verizon as well - thanks for the tip-a-rooney about the you-know-what btw). What's really fun is listening to it cuss back at you. Especially f-bombs. Not that I ever do that you know. I just heard about it.

Oka said...

LMBO and I can't quit.

Wonder how Princess Droid's babies will talk???

Angie said...

I am *so* glad I pee'd first!


I would luv luv LUV an iphone! I am so jealous over my sisters!

The Suburban Princess said...

I can only imagine all the Freudian slips my phone would make if I had a talk to text feature.

I should probably does have one and I've just never figured out how to work it. lol.

adrienzgirl said...

That is freaking hilarious! Don't be doing that on Ping!chat with me, I'll be so confused I won't be able to keep up! ;)

Heather said...

I didn't pee first! I don't follow directions well.

That is very funny. Isn't the point of texting that you don't want to talk??
I saw the coolest game today. One of my students had one that shoes your feet on the screen and move your foot to kick a cartoon soccer ball. How does that even work?

Chief said...

I still think you were coming on to me.

Somehow the first time through I missed the part where the guy in front was "butt laughing"... I would have like to see that.

Lisa said...

Lol!!!!!! I was sitting on the side of the bed giggling like a mad woman! Whew!
Thank you....both

K-Fun said...

I think I just pissed myself laughing! I'm so getting voice to text now!

♥Cari♥ said...



Text to voice sounds awesome. I'm looking into that phone now.

Dysfunctional Mom said...

Bahahaha! Awesome, reminds me of that website! You will for sure pee yourself reading those things.

Kmama said...

Hahaha. I haven't tried my voice to text yet. I always hit the button by accident though. I bet that once you get used to the Droid, you won't want an iPhone.

Mass Hole Mommy said...

Bwahahahaha...that was freakin hilarious. You were right.

That One Mom said...

I long for talk to text but my spelling ocd would probably take over and my joy would be short lived sooooo, I'll just keep running with scissors. (shhh, that's code for breaking the law)

Ed said...

I pity your poor phone.

Trying to make sense out of you is quite the task for anything.

Evonne said...

I love my droid! But talk to text scares me. Auto correct is bad enough.

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

That conversation is too funny! Enjoy the new phone!

Babes Mami said...

Hahahahha you are ridiculous! I have heard of these text talking things but I could never get mine to work.

PS= new place. Much better. Won't name names. Don't want to be deleted.

Lori said...

HYSTERICAL! I am SO ready for an upgrade. My phone? The Verizon Juke. It's like talking into a lipstick. My husband gave it to me 2 Mother's Days ago. As he hands it over? He tells me he got it FOR FREE! Way to add to the romance, Hubbie. Let me introduce you to the family room couch.

Anyway, I think I want a Blackberry. Who knows. Anything would be better than my itty bitty can't text a flipping thing or see pics piece of shit. I'm so behind the times that instead of texting, I send smoke signals. Or tap out Morse Code.

I have serious phone envy right now.

Jessica said...

Wait? So you did or didn't beat the kids home? And, does the iPhone have this? I must try for entertainment purposes only...

Sandra said...

thank god you cleared up that "I am got bush" thing...I thought that was a new thing like a Brazilian wax, and I was like, "I haven't even tried a Brazilian yet and now I'm gonna have to go get bush..."
Hilarious post! Not jealous of your new toy though, can barely operate my stupid little phone with zero features.

Kari said...

As a nation, we have changed so much since we shed our Victorian influence. We used to worship Him, now we worship devices. I did find your post amusing though.

Chief said...

Kari needs to relax a bit.

M-Cat said...

Sahara expressed my thoughts exactly.

And talk to text? I am totally going that route next time I venture into the swirling sharks at Verizon