Monday, November 30, 2009

Post-Thanksgiving Post-Its

Okay bloggy friends...I am off vacation. But don't be putting too much pressure on me to perform this month. I've got a birthday and two class parties to plan for along with the other Christmas rush. Just be happy with whatever you get....

Here's your sticky note edition for this week:

Go here to make your own sticky notes and then go here to link up with other bloggers.

And after you do that....go spend lots of money on Ebay supporting Jaden. 

There are some really cool items up for bid. (Like KISS concert tickets and backstage passes from Shannon Tweed!!) 

Or you can find a cure for cancer. 

Yeah, I like that idea better. 

Either way, do something. 

If you don't know who Jaden is...go find out...right here.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Things I am Thankful For

Since it's Thanksgiving, I don't think this list needs much of an introduction. So without futher adieu....

5. LASIK eye surgery

This is the best thing I ever did for myself!!  (It was a few years ago, but I never cease to be amazed and thankful for it.) To be a slave to contacts had become more than annoying. I was sick and tired of having to dig them out of my eyeballs EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT! 

No watching TV and falling asleep. No impromptu naps. No riding in the boat without constantly  putting in eye drops every time we stopped for a moment. 

And I only forgot to pack my contact solution ONE TIME! Trust me, after soaking your contacts in water overnight (just so they won't dry out to the hardness of petrified wood) and then putting them back'd never make that mistake again. 

If you've been considering it, I highly recommend it! It was so quick and DID NOT HURT! It was kind of a weird feeling, but it was over in a flash. AMAZING technology. 

4. Paula Deen

Yum. Yum. Yum. Who doesn't love them some Paula Deen? She's the aunt everyone wishes they had. (Except her yummy sons would be your cousins....which in most states would knock them out of the running for being your lover. I'm not naming the know who  we  you are.) 

Who doesn't love taking perfectly  boring  healthy vegetables, rolling them in some type of carbohydrate crack and then frying them to a golden crisp in  butter  lard   bacon grease  baking them in the oven?

And to make things better, when I signed my mom (the Queen) up for Facebook, Paula Deen popped up as a classmate. After a little Googling investigative genius, I discovered her maiden name. My mom was all like, "Paula Hiers!?! I didn't realize Paula Hiers was Paula Deen?! I knew Paula Hiers! We were friends!!" 

*insert me picturing myself going to Paula's house with my mom for their weekend reunion of BFF's complete with all the fried chicken, biscuits, and banana pudding  the princess  we can eat.* 

So we dig out her yearbooks and sure enough...there's Paula....along with her signature in my mom's yearbook. Sah-Weet!! (Like Fried Pumpkin Layer Cake with Cream Cheese and Orange Frosting )

3. Tivo

And I will be even more thankful when DirecTV partners with Tivo again (I hear is rumored to be happening soon) so I can get rid of that awful DVR developed by the satellite morons. 

Don't get me wrong....any DVR is better than nothing. But once you go Tivo, you never go back. (Unless forced to do so by greedy satellite people who think they can make their own box and cut Tivo out of the pie.) *Did someone say pie? Licking lips...*

2. Guitar Hero

God bless the makers of Guitar Hero for saving me from a life of Kidz Bop and changing my little "Wiggles Heads" to "Metal Heads." 

I can finally listen to music that does NOT make me want to rummage through the neighbors my medicine cabinet looking for a lethal combination of pills aspirin. 

I love that Guitar Hero has turned my sons into Bon Jovi fans. How cool is that? 

My kids know all the words Living on a Prayer, Eye of the Tiger, Rock You Like a Hurricane, and Sweet Home Alabama. (Though thanks to our friend "Mr. Mayfield Ice Cream Man" they now insert "ROLL TIDE! ROLL!" into the song.)

1. The Royal Family

I am most thankful for the Prince, the heirs to the throne, Kings, Queens, and the court of Royal Jesters. 

Family members: please insert yourselves where ever fitting.

Whaaa? I didn't call you a court jester!! 

I called you a royal jester! 

It is much different. 

Not the butt of  jokes AT ALL! 

*winks to blog readers*

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

In the words of Fred Sanford...."You big dummy!"

In honor of all my fellow deer hunter widows....

Wonder what this deer said when he got back to the others?

Monday, November 23, 2009

The only reasons I don’t drop kick Fall....


Those of you who are FaceBook friends know that I hate Fall. I do not welcome it at all! Why, you may ask....?

Everyone on the blooming earth looooooves Fall. Not me. Every time I see someone post, “Joe Blow is loving this nice cool weather.” or “Chipper Sally is enjoying the leaves changing colors.” I want to shoot spit balls at my computer screen. The only reason I don’t is that I loooove my MacBook and I would never do that to “Mac.” 

Fall means that I can no longer do the things I love most of all. I can no longer sleep in and avoid the morning hustle to get the boys up and ready for school. 

There are no more lazy days out at the pool. No more watching the boys wakeboard or eating dinner at the Tiki Hut watching the sun set over the lake. No more weeks at the beach getting fried to a delightful crisp. 

No more long summer days where it’s daylight at 9:00 pm. No more fresh home grown produce. No more flip flops. 

I swear I would move to Florida if I didn’t love being so close to my babysitters parents. And hills....I would need something semi-close to a small mountain. I need a little change in elevation to break up the monotony. 

I would move to San Antonio, but the trees are too short. I need tall trees. Oh, and I can’t move there because I would be 400+ pounds too. Mmmmmm.....Mexican food.

Fall just means that I will not see summer for a very looooooooong time. I will be quickly ushered in to the cold, harsh winter. (Bree....SHUT. IT. I can totally see you rolling your eyes in Alaska!) 

But even more than Fall....I HATE MARCH! March is just a makes you think you are going to feel the warm breath of God at any moment....only to dump a massive snow on you! (Bree....stop rolling your eyes!! It was massive to us in the Southeast...)

OK...back to  torture  Fall. There are a few consolation know, those little things that give you hope that you can make it through, such as....

1. College tailgating football

2. Pumpkin Spice Lattes from Starbucks

3. Pumpkin Pie Blizzards from Dairy Queen

4. Pumpkin Pancakes from IHop

5. Pumpkin Ice Cream from Marble Slab Creamery

6. Mom’s four layer Pumpkin Cake (noticing a theme here?)

7. Furry boots...and sweaters...and anything else with a furry embellishment.  Ooops, I was getting ahead of myself. I'll have to save that for winter.

7. No more re-runs on TV.

8. Kid’s sports.

9. Halloween Parties

I was going to try to think of 10, but I’m done. Can’t think of another thing...

So, while the rest of you are singing the praises of cooler weather and dancing in the fallen leaves....I’ll be at home sitting by the heater...popping fun size Snickers bars anti-depressants.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Bon Qui FunNY!

This is probably one of my most favorite videos. Many of you have probably seen it. But for those of you who may have been living under a's what you've been missing.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Sexiest Men Alive

In correction honor of People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive in which Johnny Depp (is Edward Scissorhands still around?) was chosen as this year's trophy male, I will present to you Princess Picks for Sexiest Men Alive.

Number 5

I think there is no need for words here. So I'll just shut up. Please wipe up the drool when you're done.

Number 4

Hawtness...pure and simple.

Number 3

Rob just gets better and better with age. 

Number 2

And so does George!!!

And my Numero Uno is........

...a three way tie.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Star Gazing (Stalking) *UPDATED!!!!*


Hello. My name is Princess and I am an unsuccessful stalker.

A few years back I went on a girl's weekend to NYC with my friend Lucy and a few others. We had plans to do all the typical "southern girls in NYC" things. You know, a little sight seeing, a little eating, Regis & Kelly, The View (when it was good), Broadway show, LOTS of shopping, and keeping our eyes peeled for famous people.

Here's a transcript from our shuttle ride from the airport to the Marriott.

Van drives through NYC dropping people off at various locations. We stop at a building near our hotel.

Me: "Hey! There's.....there''s's.....THAT GUY FROM THAT TV SHOW!!"

Passenger: "Yeah, the one that replaced the guy who played the father in that movie."

Me: "Yes! He's on that show.....with the lawyers and cops."

(The guy in the middle with the brown suit.)

Not one person on the van knew his name. Sad, I know. But I took it as an omen that we were going to see celebrities....lots of them.

So everywhere we went, I was looking at everyone's face.

I was certain we would walk past Sara Jessica Parker on Fifth Avenue.

Positive that Billie Joel would hold the door for us as we walked into a coffee shop.

Thought there might even be a possibility that we would spot Madonna jogging through Central Park.

We saw Terri Hatcher on The View. (It was a few days before the Desperate Housewives premier.) We saw Joaquin Phoenix on Regis & Kelly. He was promoting a movie with JOHN TRAVOLTA.

Guess who was a guest on Regis & Kelly the next day? Yep. That's right. Mr. Saturday Night Fever....that's just my luck. A day early.

I kept my eyes peeled everywhere we went. We came back to our hotel one night and found out that while we were kicking around Ground Zero, Little Italy, and China Town....John (yes, we're on a first name basis....though I'm not sure he's aware of me this yet) was hanging out at the firestation around the corner from our hotel. *pout face*

I ended up on the plane flying home without one. single. bonafide. star. sighting. The ones at show tapings do not count. They were monkeys in the zoo. I wanted to see one in the wild. So I could chase them down and take a picture.

I wanted to take a pic like this with someone famous. (Note to the random girl in the pink shirt.....I suggest you get out of Chief 's rightful place at the left hand of Edward. She's had a bad week. You don't want to mess with her. Just sayin'.)

The Prince on the other hand, sees famous people at random places all the time.....without stalking them. The last time he was in San Antonio, he ran in to creepy old man movie star Morgan Friedman and his step granddaughter/girlfriend.

When he was in Orlando he hung out with Joey Fatone at Howl at the Moon. He called to tell me about it and I begged him to go tell Joey how I adored watching him on Dancing with the Stars and how much I looooooved him......with all my heart. The Prince talked to Joey, but didn't tell him any of that stuff. Weird, huh?

(That girl hanging all over Joey is the wife of my hubby's customer. She stole my spot!!! I wish I knew how to photoshop her face out of there and insert mine. I'd probably take the Prince and the dude in the blue shirt out of the pic too. I'm really not good at sharing.)

And yes, he asked me to go on both trips, but it's so hard to get away and leave the kids when they are in school.

*insert regret here*

On one of his other trips to San Antonio, he called me to say, "Hey. I'm at a Spurs game. Guess who is sitting a few rows in front of me." Yep, it was Eva Longoria. Are you kidding me?!?

I plan on ending my losing streak this week.

We are taking the family to San Antonio for a week. One of our activities includes a Spurs game.

I will be in stealth stalker mode.

Eva might ought to hire extra security....I have no idea how I will act.

But I'm betting it will be ridiculous....


I ♥ Susan and Joey!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Tuesdays with Post-Its

Do it with SupahMommy. (Get your minds out of the gutter!) I meant, do Post-It Tuesdays and link up with Supah. Or read all the other funny post its by visiting all the other participating bloggers who are linked up.

And don't forget about Jaden!!

If you want to make a difference this Christmas, get involved.

It's simple.

Everyone wins.

And baby Jesus will be happy.

*Please insert other religion's heartstring tuggers here*

Monday, November 16, 2009

In Honor of Dancing with the Stars

Here are some video clips of my most favorite dancer EVAH! The Fresh Prince of Bel Aire was truly a fantastically funny show. But as much as I am a Will Smith fan, we all know who the real star on the show was.....that's right, CARLTON BANKS!

I would really like to see Carlton as a contestant on Dancing with the Stars. But in the meantime, God bless YouTube for providing me the opportunity to view these little gems once again....

This one is perhaps my favorite....'s this one. This is when I first "met" Alphonso Ribiero....and fell in love with his talent...

As I wrap up this post, I leave you with this final goodbye....

Thursday, November 12, 2009

I Skyped with Supah and I liked it...

Those of you who read my blog (yes, both of you) may have probably noticed that I have formed a blogship with SupahMommy. 

She has been unbelievably gracious and spends lots of time helping me navigate the blog world. I can't tell you how many times she has emailed me a tutorial on stuff that is surely second nature to most young people but is horribly unfamiliar to us old codgers. 

Through this "give/take" relationship (she gives, I take) we have formed a real bond. Supah has recently introduced me to Skype. OMG....I am hooked! 

Below is the link to my official Skype session with Supah. 

That's right!! We're bloggin' LIVE! Check out our video.

I hope ya'll thought that was as hilarious as Supah and I did. Of course, the really funny stuff is the chat session we had discussing my performance insecurities and panic gearing ourselves up for the actual call. 

Actually, most all of our conversations are ROFLMFAO! (See....I'm up on all the young, hip lingo.)

But perhaps the funniest Skype session I had was when I talked to Supah's middle angel, "Yep Yep." 

She is an absolute doll baby. 

I could put her on a popsicle stick and eat her up. Yep Yep saw me in my tiara and now thinks I am a real princess. 


My oldest heir was in the room when I first Skyped with Supah. 

He asked who she was and I told him she was a complete stranger I met on the internet and that he should never talk to strangers on the internet. (I know, I am a bad role model.) 

So tonight when I was playing the clip for both heirs to see, my little one asked who Supah was....

My oldest said, "She's a stranger."

Sorry, Supah....I get to be the really cool princess your kids are star struck over, and you get to be the scary internet stranger my kids won't talk to. You're on the D-List with the 3-12 year old set. 

I'm Taylor're Kathy Griffin. 

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Skype's the Limit

So the Princess has been introduced to Skype. 


I am able to sit at my puter and talk to people far, far away in other kingdoms....or villages.....for FREE!!!! 

And I can see them when I talk. 

Which is awesome....except that I have been caught without my make up on.... 

*insert old, wrinkly frowny face*

I was talked in to Skyping by my fantabulous friend SupahMommy .

We taped a little session last night.

We wuz laughing soooooo hard! 

*insert uncontrollable laughter*

I was a bit nervous because I didn't know what we were going to talk about. It was completely spontaneous.

I got all sweaty....which is not very princess like.

But thankfully when the time came, it was very natural. It almost seemed scripted.

You know, like The Hills or any of the Real Housewives.

But I assure you. 

It. Was. Not.

Supah and I go together like Thelma & Louise

 Laverne & Shirley

 Tom & Jerry....

Okay....maybe more like Ben & Jerry

.....but you get the picture.

Come back tomorrow and I'll leave a link to SupahMommy's blog so you can see the video.

After that, we'll be taking calls from Bravo and TLC for our new reality show. Maybe we should look in to getting an agent.......and teeth whitening....