Friday, January 29, 2010

A Storm's a Brewin'

So yesterday it was in the 60's here. 

I was literally sweating while running errands. 

It was glorious.

Today, however.....

I am preparing for an ice storm and possibly snow. 


Yep. I am. Makes perfect sense right?

And a few years back our neighborhood was  out of power for FIVE whole days. 

My parents were in the dark for six. 

That is something I will NOT suffer through again, God willing. 

This time, our wonderful neighbor, who is also an electrician (or so he told us when he had his hands all over our wires) installed a "pig tail" to our breaker box. We'll be able to run our whole house on a generator....which my prince will bring home from work.

And just in case, I have fully charged all DSi's, laptops, cameras, portable dvd players, know, the important stuff.

I've stocked the fridge with roasts and makings for soups, stews, and chili. 

I have hot chocolate on stand by. 

I rented movies in case the satellite can't find a signal. 

I bought extra bullets in case the internet goes out. 

*insert fear stricken look*

We. are. ready. 

So now I say....


Totally just kidding mother nature. I would be okay with a nice fluffy snow. But I really do not want another ice storm. Please forgive my false sense of preparedness and don't teach me a lesson. I swear I'm all talk!!!

In case you are in the path of the storm and you did not remember to run out and rent are a few short ones you might enjoy.

The first one is of a talented young man (3rd grade) who won a KISS t-shirt from Jaden's auction!

These boys (fifth grade) are personality plus! (Plus brains, plus athleticism, plus chick magnets...)

If you've been following me for a while, you'll remember Lil' Papi (1st grade). I am one of his groupies. (But in a totally non-creepy way, I swear.) *No officer, I have no idea why his parents took out a restraining order on me!

And last but not least, here are the teachers from my kid's school performing Thriller.
(I hope my boys don't get bad grades for me posting this!)

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Day Three of Blog Therapy-Thankyouverymuch

Have mercy! With all these blog carnivals running around....who needs to leave the house for therapy anymore? 

Between Supah's Post It Note Tuesdays, Chief's What I Meant to Say Wednesdays, Kmama's Thank You Very Much Thursdays...I don't have much time to do any spontaneous blogging. 

I feel like I've been holed up at some therapy camp with Dr. Phil....except without all the yelling and stupid wait....I think there was a little yelling...but I don't remember any metaphors.


I am much more emotionally stable now....which trust a really good thing for us all. I'm also able to practice getting a backbone standing up for myself.

So here goes...

The Daily Dribbles

To the wintry mix that's scheduled to arrive this weekend when I have plans for dinner and a movie with my girlfriends after MONTHS, and MONTHS, and MONTHS of the Prince being in the woods hunting leaving me at home with the kids....thankyouverymuch.

To the annoying show off, know-it-all person who is involved because you want to be in the know (not because you want to make things better) and whom I know is involved in stirring up trouble cause I am a therapist and I analyze EVERY. SINGLE. WORD. YOU. SAY. as well as interpret your body language...I'm on to you....thankyouverymuch.

To the diet I started 4 days ago (and not in January because you all were doing it gung ho then and I am a rebel renegade stubborn nonconformist hard headed *sigh* diet hater)....I am starving....please hurry up and get me over the hump and into the zone....thankyouverymuch.

To my twitter friends who did NOTHING to help talk me off the Girl Scout cookie ledge on day two....thankyouverymuch. Supah told me to jump. Just "weight" and see how supportive I'm going to be for her Skinny Chics in Sumo Suits challenge .

To the medical morons responsible for telling my friend Kmama who had to stress all night about taking her baby to be sedated and get an EEG today only to show up and find out the machines were acting up and they would be put on a standby schedule, but possibly will not be able to do it today at all even though she took the day off work....thankyouverymuch.

To the 240 million dollar lottery ticket who refuses to be bought by me so that I can make the world a better place, meet relatives I never even knew I had, and buy lots of pretty shoes....thankyouverymuch.

Now run on over to Kmama's Daily Dribbles to link up with other snarky thankful bloggers. And give Kmama some love while you are there. But please, no inappropriate groping and grabbing or JDaddy/Dawg will have to punch you out like he almost had to punch out Jared Leto . 

UPDATE: My link on Supah's Mr. Linky is wrong! This is an old post! If you want the current one go HERE!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

What I Meant to Say - 4th Edition

To the you dude with the body by Budweiser and Hooters who was waxing his brand new Mercedes SUV outside his dilapidated mobile home....

What I said was....

Nice spinners.

What I meant to say was....

Are you kidding me?! 

Since when does your car costing more than your house make you cool? 

I understand that the ladies like a man with a nice car, but once you bring them home the jig is up!!

You're not fooling anyone. 

How did you even get that car?!  

Did you finance it? 

Did you pay with drug money cash? 

You might want to take a couple bucks and FIX THE HOLE IN THE ROOF! 

Unless you think the ladies dig trailers with convertible tops... 

But I'm going to let you in on a little secret......


We enjoy waking up nice and warm (and dry) in the mornings. 

Your mom and dad must be so proud... 

Actually, she's not. 

I talked to her the other day and she thinks you are a loser too. 

She's praying you don't get some girl pregnant. 

She would prefer her grandchildren not grow up in a meth lab. 

And I really don't think that's too much to ask!!!

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go drink pray that my kids don't end up like this....

Do you have something you'd like to get off your chest? If so, click on that tag up at the top and join in. I promise, you'll feel much better after you do.

*Disclaimer: I am not making fun of people who live in mobile homes. Just douchebags who have a $100,000 custom car and $15,000 piece of crap mobile home.*

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Post It Notes: Edition #11

It's Tuesday! 

You know what that means. 

All the cool kids are doing it...

You can join in and make your own post-its.

Click it.

And now without further adieu....

Monday, January 25, 2010

My dirty little (not so) secret....

Hello. My name is Princess and I am an addict.

I know, I know...we all are addicted to something.

I've dealt with many addictions in my life.

Diet Coke (a daily struggle)

M&M's (mmmmmmm...)

Chocolate Chip Pop Tarts (I kicked this one!)

Target (I replaced it with FaceCrack.)

FaceCrack (I replaced it with blogging.)

Why can't I be like all my skinny b*tches friends and be addicted to exercise?! 

Oh...yeah....I hate exercise. 
That might have something to do with it.

I had an Earth shattering experience this week. 
In Tuesday's post it notes I talked about getting a new laptop. 

*insert "ooohs" and "ahhhhs"*

I'm a little on the anal thorough side, so it took me a while to make my final decision. 
And still, I second guessed it the whole time I was writing my check. 

(Kidding MIITB ! I promise I did NOT write a check!)

I got home on Friday and pulled the sleek little machine out of the box. 
I almost peed my pants giggled out loud from being giddy. 

Finally the prince will have his own laptop and stop absconding with mine. I mean, normal druggies don't share their crack, do they?

(I'm assuming they do not. I've never actually seen crack in person...just on Cops.)

For those of you who don't know me, I'm not really the tech genius I appear to be.

(STOP LAUGHING! It hurts my feelings.....)

But ever since my father gave me my first VCR when I was a teenager and told me I could have it if I figured out how to hook it up, I have always tried to learn new things on my own. I'm the one in my house who hooks up all the electronics and such. The prince probably doesn't even know how to download iTunes. I always do it.

(Also, I have never had a flashing clock on the VCR. Mine was ALWAYS set.)

When we bought my MacBook (my first laptop), we hired Geek Squad to come set everything up. We got the Time Capsule which is an Apple device that doubles as a wireless router and an automatic wireless back up hard drive. The transition to Mac was overwhelming enough. I didn't want the stress of setting it all up too. I need my internet to google everything these how to use a Mac. It's my on-line school.

But this time, I figured, "It can't be that hard. I'll get this new pc hooked up to the Apple wireless myself."

Did I mention that sometimes I act like a man and don't read the instructions first?

That's right. I just started clicking things and using the trial and error method.

Guess what?


I disconnected both computers from the internet!

I couldn't even get internet using the ethernet cord!!


Please, someone shoot. me. now.

I decided to give up on it and wait until I was of fresh mind to try again.

But now what?

I tried to watch whatever show the Prince was watching. (Yawn.)

I tried reading a real book with actual pages. 

I eventually gave up and went to bed....early. 

The Prince was in shock. 

The real kind. 

Where you need blankets and stuff...and possibly medical attention.

Saturday morning was really busy. I didn't get a chance to get back to it until late that afternoon. I punched buttons, clicked links, plugged and unplugged, reset, made best friends with the operator from my internet company's support team after an hour on the phone troubleshooting, and tried everything including reading the directions. (Which didn't really help AT ALL!) 

But eventually, I got it back! And on both laptops at the same time! 

It was a pure and total accident, but who's complaining?



So what did I really learn from all this?

I learned that the world will not stop spinning on it's axis if I miss anything on email, facebook or twitter. I learned that I will not self combust if I'm behind on reading blogs. 

I learned that sleeping for 9 hours feels kind of good every once in a while. 

I learned that you didn't even notice I was disconnected, but that some of you are nice enough to lie about it and tell me that you did.

So what now?

Do I go back and try to catch up with all the things I missed on blogs and facebook? 


I'm just starting fresh today.

If you need me, I'll be right here with my diet coke and m&m's....and of course, my beloved Mac. 

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Happy Birthday Chiefy

Today is Chief's birthday.

*insert party horns and streamers*

I am fortunate enough to be friends with some really creative and talented people.

They let me ride their coat tails.

I'm not sure what I offer in return.

But I'm glad they let me tag along.

Here's a video tribute they put together....and stuck my name on.

Chief's Road Trip Song

What do Chiefy's dream of
When they take a little Chiefy Snooze
Do they dream of stabbin lil a$$ midgets
or of people wrapped in Sumo Suits?

But don't you worry your pretty RED head
we're goinna getcha back in hiding and
ignore what Duke said.

And then we're goinna sing you a
Happy Birthday Song
and then we're goinna give you some best friend love.

Chief.. Chieeeeeef.. Oh .. Chieffy CHief Chief..

But if she's been hugged by crazy a$$ readers....

well then we're sh*t outta luck.

Penned By MITTB
Video Work and Singing by Supah Mommy and Patti Labelle.
Awesome Pics We Didn't End Up Using and Idea By Princess

The Hangover was not harmed in the making of this little diddy. We do not own the rights to the song nor the movie.

Don't copy their our sh*t or I'll (Supah) make a movie about you. :)

Everything in purple was copied from Supah....
even though she said not to copy...
But I did because I'm running late for church. 
So I copy/pasted and changed the swear words...
cuz there's no swearing on my blog.
 But you'll have to bleep out Supah's cussy singin' on your own. 
I'm not talented enough to do any of that techie stuff.

Also, I have been without internet access since Friday afternoon. 
Just got it back. 
I've been DYING!!! 
I know you've been wondering where I was. 
(Pretend you noticed.)
Don't worry. 
I plan to blog about it, of course.
But first, I must go to church and give thanks for it.....

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Sweet Toothed Playahs

I was in the grocery store the other day lingering around the bakery smelling all the sugar  checking out the fresh produce near the bakery when I overheard the sweetest thing ever.

Bakery Lady: "What do you want me to put on it?"

Note: I am standing nearby being nosy observant.

Keeper: "Oh, I'm not sure. My baby just got her first tooth and I wanted to get my wife a cake because she's all excited."

Ok now, feel free to go ahead and start getting all misty eyed and thinking gushy thoughts. Except for the one or two guys who openly read my can just shut it. We don't need anyone raining on our estrogen parade...except that I live for go ahead...I'll just act like I'm mad at you. ;)

Me: "Oh my gosh, that is soooo sweet! You are a keeper for sure!!"

Bakery Ladies: (all of them) *gushing profusely over keeper*

Keeper: (Standing there puffing his chest out like a turkey...or is it a peacock...or a penguin? I can't remember.) "Maybe we should put 'Got teeth?' on it."

Estrogen: "Ahhhh....perfect!"

How awesome is this man? I mean really! 

Or..... he a playah...

....using cakes all over town to woo and pick up bakery ladies? 

(Those hairnets and aprons are very sexy you know.)

Whew, I almost fell for it too!

Thank goodness I am a happily married princess who has a keeper too...

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

What I Meant to Say - 3rd Edition

⬆⬆ See that there tag up there? ⬆⬆

Yeah, that one. Click it to participate.....or else.

Whaaaa? What do you mean "what else?!"

You really don't want to know.............

(I'm totally all talk. I wouldn't do anything. I'd just be really, really disappointed.)

When I looked at the TV and said Tony Romo, you are a *insert expletive of your choice* sorry excuse for a quarterback....

What I really meant to say was....

Tony Romo, you are no Roger Staubach or Troy Aikman!

When the prince said he was going hog hunting and I told him to have fun and be safe.....

What I really meant to say was...

Don't you dare bring any of that nasty wild hog home and expect me to eat it or serve it to the kids! You already litter my freezer with useless deer meat that I won't touch. (Except for the peppered bacon. I'll eat that.) I need room in there for good ice cream! If I want pork chops or bacon, I'll just go to the grocery store or Costco. Oh yeah, and when did you become a big 'ol redneck?! This new love of yours is ruining my royal image!

Some of you who read my Post It's from yesterday seemed to think I was kidding about the prince going hog hunting. Here is a snip-it of video he shot yesterday.....

And I don't want to hear any crap from PETA fans. I married a man from Texas. Texans hunt. If you saw his sexy blue eyes you'd overlook his love for murdering God's creatures too.  RAWR!!

And for the record, we have no idea who that guy is that brought his VERY young child on the hog hunt! (He tagged along with someone else.) There is NO WAY I would let my boys go!! It is NOT appropriate for young eyes.

So to the man who brought his diaper wearing, pacifier sucking kid on a hog hunt....

What I really meant to say was....

Ummm, hello? Uh, yeah, is this the Department of Social Services? It is? Ok, I need to make a report.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Post It Notes: Edition #10

I really love Supah's Post It Note Tuesdays. Click here if you want to join in the fun...

My third memorial of the week....among other things...

Tune in tomorrow for Chief's blog carnival.

Double Shot of Memorials


This blog is closed (again) for MLK Day....and beautiful 60 degree weather.

*insert Princess jumping in the air and clicking her heels*

Here's my tribute to MLK holiday.

Posted using ShareThis

I am also still mourning the loss of Gaines Adams, but plan to be back to regularly scheduled program tomorrow with SupahMommy's Post It Note Tuesdays .

RIP #93

Friday, January 15, 2010

The one where I help a friend...

Blogging has become my new obsession  cure for facebook a wonderful outlet for me to spew the random voices thoughts rattling around inside my head. 

Sometimes I spew with the intent to make you laugh and feed my ego by telling me how hilarious I am. 

Sometimes I do it as therapy. 

Through blogging, I have made some good stalkers friends. The mommy blogging community is very supportive. 

We do things like kick cancer's a$$ and fight big corporations. We give encouragement to friends who are hurting and need to hear kind words. It's awesome. 

I have a blog friend who has asked for my help. There is no way I could ever deny her especially since she lives near my brother in law and will surely cut me up into little pieces and throw me into the river the next time I visit.

Please click on the link below to see a post by JennFabulous. 

Ok...that's not her real name. 

But it should be. 

And if you can help or know someone who would be willing, please do so. If you are one of my local friends, feel free to talk to me directly about this. 

click this link 

If you've ever been involved with anyone who has gone through this horrible disorder, you know how devastating it can be and how helpless their family members feel. This is one of the ways we can help this family begin to heal. You don't have to actually know people to help them. All you have to do is open up your heart.

Oh, and if anyone has access to a plane or know someone who does, please go here to read about this desperate plight. 

Haiti Needs Help 

Pick one. Or pick both. Either way...stop talking about how awful situations are and start doing something. Even if it's just a text to donate $10 from your phone. 

Let's remind everyone that Americans are awesome people...

Thursday, January 14, 2010

By Popular Demand....The Time I Got Wife of the Year...or not.

The prince is always cooking up surprises for me. It's no secret that he's my hot sauce. He's pulled off some pretty amazing surprises.

 Me? I'm terrible at it. I can't pull anything over on him. And after a bad experience....I no longer try!

I met the prince when we were in college together. He played football...Offensive Tackle. He's a big, beefy dude. 

I like me some big, beefy mens. (Makes me feel smaller and skinnier...always a plus.)

The prince threw me an awesome surprise party for my (first) 29th birthday. *ahem* I already told you to shut it earlier this week....

I was so touched that I really wanted to throw him a surprise party.

I called a trendy local restaurant that has an awesome loft area. It's an old brick building with lots of charm and character. Since the Prince's birthday is in September (right smack in the middle of football season), I had to plan the party for a Sunday.

Have I mentioned I live in the south? 

Everything but church shuts down on Sundays here. 

When the girl on the phone told me that most of the downtown restaurants were closed I panicked! 

Strike one. 

Please Lord don't make me throw him a party at Gatti Town! 

She suggested a nearby place. She described it as a hip little establishment that had really good, eclectic appetizers and such. So I called. I was thrilled to hear they had an upstairs loft that I could reserve. We discussed their menu and it sounded interesting. I booked it.

That Sunday in September rolled around and of course I had to tell the prince at the last minute that he had to get dressed and ready for his surprise party. He was too tired and stubborn to go along with whatever lame story I was telling him. 

I was forced to come clean. 

Strike two.

We found a parking place and walked up to the dimly lit restaurant. As we crossed through the doorway, it took a few seconds for our eyes to adjust from the light outside to the darkness inside. But we could immediately feel the room screech to a halt and heads snap around.

We were in a gay bar.


Now please don't get me wrong. I have gay friends whom I love. So don't mistake this for a dis to them. But let's be honest here. My gays and my footballers (read: the prince's meathead buddies) don't typically make for a good mix. 

And this was not your typical group of gays. 

We're not talking the cutie pie gay dudes like Nate Berkus, Neil Patrick Harris or Anderson Cooper who could blend in. 

More like Boy George or Adam Lambert who stick out like a pink poodle in a pack of rottweilers.

So picture this....

(Haha...this pic always cracks me up. NO...this is NOT the Prince or any of his friends!)

Hanging out with this.....

(Photo credit) 

Can anyone say "AWKWARD"....for EVERYONE?

Well, except for the wives who got to watch their men sweat all night and refuse to go to the bathroom. (That was kind of fun.)

And actually, it turned out to be a great night. The food was good. And none of our men got hit on since, you know, our dudes weren't really their type and all. 

*rolls eyes at straight guys*

The prince and his buddies didn't act like a bunch of haters. (They are all really good guys.)

And, in my defense, let me just say......this is a party that everyone still never lets me live down talks about every time I see them! 

So at least I throw memorable parties....

Speaking of which, I need to work on ideas for my son's 9th birthday. 

He really likes chicken wings. 

Has anyone been to a place called Hooters? Do they have a playground?  

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

What I Meant to Say - Part Deux

^^See that there tag up there? ^^

Yeah, that one. Click there to participate.....or else.

Whaaaa? What do you mean "what else?!"

Just do it and I won't have to show you.

Now, on with the show....

When I said "Oh, look at size 0 American Idol guest host, Victoria Beckham on TV"...

What I meant to say was...

 EAT A DADGUM COOKIE ALREADY! Fo reals!! You live in the land of when in Rome. EAT PASTA!!! I'll bet David Beckham wishes you had a little junk in your trunk. And while I'm speaking my mind. LAY OFF THE BOTOX!! You don't need any more help looking like an ice queen!!

When I smiled as I waited patiently in the 5 deep line at Barnes and Noble while a lady asked for directions to the nearest mall from the ONE person running a register as I was already supposed to be headed to pick my kids up at school.....

What I meant to say was...

GPS! Heard of it? Get one! I'll even give you directions to the nearest Best Buy. Look out the window to your right. *shoves her face against window* It's right there. Walking distance. Don't get lost.

When I waved at the truck driver who nearly crawled up my backside like Richard Gere's gerbil so graciously allowed me to merge onto the interstate...

 I meant to use only one finger...