Wednesday, January 13, 2010

What I Meant to Say - Part Deux


^^See that there tag up there? ^^


Yeah, that one. Click there to participate.....or else.


Whaaaa? What do you mean "what else?!"



Just do it and I won't have to show you.


Now, on with the show....




When I said "Oh, look at size 0 American Idol guest host, Victoria Beckham on TV"...


What I meant to say was...

 EAT A DADGUM COOKIE ALREADY! Fo reals!! You live in the land of excess...so when in Rome. EAT PASTA!!! I'll bet David Beckham wishes you had a little junk in your trunk. And while I'm speaking my mind. LAY OFF THE BOTOX!! You don't need any more help looking like an ice queen!!







When I smiled as I waited patiently in the 5 deep line at Barnes and Noble while a lady asked for directions to the nearest mall from the ONE person running a register as I was already supposed to be headed to pick my kids up at school.....

What I meant to say was...


GPS! Heard of it? Get one! I'll even give you directions to the nearest Best Buy. Look out the window to your right. *shoves her face against window* It's right there. Walking distance. Don't get lost.







When I waved at the truck driver who nearly crawled up my backside like Richard Gere's gerbil so graciously allowed me to merge onto the interstate...



 I meant to use only one finger...





33 comments:

Amber said...

Too funny! That lady from B&N sounds like she would've deserved it. And I can totally see you doing it too. Is that a bad thing? lol.

Travis said...

Sooooooo....

My button is nowhere on your site.

Take my button, your highness.

Please and thank you?

Oh, and I'm totally not doing this, bc Chief didn't do my Memoir Monday!

The Blue Zoo said...

Too funny! I'm going to have to see if I can think of anything I didnt actually say... lol

~Kaydee~ said...

Awesomesauce... I wave with one finger, too! Out here in SoCal (with all the crazy people) it seems to be a standard greeting.

LMJ said...

LOL!!
...and what the hell was Victoria Beckman doing in American Idol???!! Uuurgghh...what does she know about music? (or does she? I don't know much about her except she's married to a soccer player)

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

I often wave with one finger...that one was great!!

Kmama said...

I mention the one-finger wave in my post today too!! Only it was Buddy sportin' it. *sigh*

Victoria Beckham looked n-a-s-t-y.

Melissa said...

hahahaha Yes, Victoria Beckham looks NASTY. She needs to eat-then she wouldn't look like such a grumpy starving person all the time.

And you really waved at the truck driver? kudos. I'm notorious for letting my sailor mouth fly while in traffic, and I'm sure I would have given him the one-finger salute. :) That's right-i'm up for mother of the year, go and cast your vote now.

Found you through Chiefy-you are awesome!

SupahMommy said...

I'd kill to look like Posh.

Then I'd eat some pasta to get some junk.

xoxo
supah

WebSavvyMom said...

-->I tweeted last night during American Idol that someone needed to get Victoria a hamburger. Posh is all skin and bones!

~deb
www.WebSavvyMom.com

The Manic Mommy said...

Posh is thin as a rail! She looked better in her Spice Girl days!! I'd be david beckhams junk in the trunk! Yum-my! :) Great Carnival - I guess I should probably join in on the fun...right? Damn.

Daffy said...

You're suppose to wave with more than one finger?

Hmmm...must be why no one at work likes me.

Shell said...

I was laughing last night at all the food that was suggested that VB eat, listed on my fb and twitter pages. Everyone wants that chick to eat!

Evonne said...

I was behind an old lady at the grocery store who insisted that things rang up at the wrong price. They didn't and I ha to get my kids. Just pay and go!

Should have given her the one finger wave! But I need to lay off that before my kids start doing it!

Working Mommy said...

NICE!!! Love your post today :)

~WM

Tami G said...

OMG right?!?!!! EAT Posh - EAT!!!
my bf kept going on and on and on last night about how HAWT she is!!
REALLY??!!!
she looks like a freaking anorexic MOUSE!
YUK!
{not impressed Beckham}

Jessica said...

I really want to join in on this, but I'm scared that I would get too angry and use bad words! :)

Hair Bows & Guitar Picks said...

LOl...I am going to eat the damn cookie..NOW~

Triplets Plus Two Momma said...

Aww, come one now. Princess doesn't use the middle finger?!

Am I too old to pee my pants.

That was just all too pee your pants funny :)

CrazyAssMomma said...

lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

those are awesome.

especially the bitch at B&N. that, i swear is the sloooooooooooowest effin store ever.

Meeko Fabulous said...

You, my dear, and I would get along great. I very often give people the one-fingered salute while driving. :)

Organic Meatbag said...

Victoria was looking as healthy and lively as Amy Winehouse...I expected to see her flesh crawling across the desk at any minute...

Sabrina said...

When I grow up, I wanna be as fricken' hysterical as you are!

mindij said...

Aw yea, Posh! Not lookin so posh without some meat on them bones! I wanted to give her a cheeseburger but I ate it.....

Sunday said...

The Best Buy part made me almost pee myself I was laughing so hard. I loved it, needless to say!

Heather @ Two Little Monkeys said...

Could not stand Victoria on AI last night.

Adoption Of Jane Ug-LBC said...

LMFAO @ Richard Gere's Gerbil... BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Kat said...

You are so funny! And Victoria Beckham needs to eat about a week's worth of Thanksgiving dinners and I do mean with ALLLLLL the trimmins!!

Terry said...

lmfao!!! This is hilarious!! Oh man....the gerbil....aaaaand the one finger ....you had me seriously lol...so loud I got yelled at by the spouse trying to put the toddler to bed!

Erin said...

OMG---ROFLMAO re: RIchard Gere!!!

p.s. thank you so much for your sweet comments on my post from yesterday....it helps to know I'm not alone.
;-)

Chief said...

POOR Gere! I love him and forgive him for the gerbil incident

sigh

kys said...

I call that The Redneck Salute. It's like Colt 45 - Works Every Time.

Corrie Howe said...

Love the GPS one.