Givin' it up....it's not what you think mom!

I'm hosting my very first giveaway. I'm so excited. I mean who doesn't like to be Santa Claus?


Are you going to a blogger conference soon? Do you have a new business? Do you need business cards? Do you need gift tags? Do you just want something for free?


Well then.....enter my giveaway sponsored by DigitalRoom.com!

Are you a little quirky? Do you want something other than the boring standard sized cards?


Well then, DigitalRoom.com has the perfect solution for you. You can choose something a little more sexy edgy like a modern square or a skinny slim card. Of course, if you aren't a rebellious child don't have a wild side are a classy person, you can also choose to stick with the normal sized card. (Don't worry Chief, you don't have to be classy to enter.)


Go HERE to check out all the options DigitalRoom.com has to offer in cards.


Here are the details of the giveaway:


The winner will receive 500 Business Cards in one of three sizes

• 2 x 3.5" standard card
• 2 x 2" square card
• 1.75 x 3.5" slim card

Winner will choose from

• 14 pt gloss cardstock
• 14 pt matte cardstock
• 13 pt recycled uncoated cardstock

DigitalRoom.com offers:

• Full Color Both Sides
• Offset Press
• 3 Business Day Printing

This contest is open to US residents ages 18 and above only. Contest ends on May 12. 

How do you enter? 

• Follow my blog. (One entry)
• Follow me on Twitter and tweet about this contest -- put my twitter handle in the tweet. (Five entries)
• Leave me a comment telling me if you followed and/or tweeted and tally your entries. Be sure to send me your email address if you do not have a profile linked to your email.

I will use random.org to pick a winner. The winner will receive their prize by the end of the month.

Visit DigitalRoom.com to see all their awesome products!

On becoming old...

What becoming old has taught me:

Wrinkles bite the big one.

A good pair of jeans that make you look slimmer is worth every penny.

When you have another child, your love does not have to be divided...it multiplies.

Being early is a waste of time.

There’s no arguing with stupid. 

Political correctness is ruining funny.

Politicians are ruining politics.

Politics are ruining Little League, high school, and college sports.

Ice cream is evil...but oh so good.

Carbohydrates are ruining my body.

But if carbohydrates didn’t do it first, I would find another excuse.

Mama was right...boys were after only one thing...and still are.

Finding a good husband is the most important decision you will ever make. 

I’m a good decision maker.

You can’t keep a nine-year-old boy from dying laughing when someone cuts the cheese.

Nothing will cure the blues better than feeling your child’s arms around your neck and hearing him say “You’re the best mommy in the whole world.”

Having younger friends is great every day of the year except your birthday.

They will ride you like a mule when you hit a “milestone” birthday.

You will love them dearly anyway because friends who love you enough to keep you laughing about becoming officially old are better than friends who forget your birthday.

URL friendships can be just as deep as IRL friendships. 

I love my friends....all of them. 

I am blessed beyond what I deserve....

Post It Notes: Edition #20

A Great Big Fat *smooches™ to the Blogfia!

We did it!

Jane just emailed me.

They "found" Islaam a new school.

Jane is pleased.

You all rock!

I will post more info when I get it.

Tell all your husbands, etc. that you do NOT waste 

all your time on this blog thing. 

You change lives and champion causes!

Thanks to the blogfia for your support.

If you are not a member yet, grab this button 

and post it on your blog. 

 <a href="http://www.princessofsarcasm.com/2010/03/what-i-meant-to-say-9th-edition-we-are.html"><img src="http://i755.photobucket.com/albums/xx200/amberlaha/blogfia.png" /></a>

You never know when you might need us....

You may now cease and desist your email attack. 

The battle is won.


Go here to get Jane's update.

Blogfia Announcement...No More Bullying: The Sequel

I am such a lucky Princess. Why? Because I live in an area where the school administration takes bullying and violence very seriously. Unfortunately, that is not the case everywhere. 

Do you remember this?

This is Jane’s son. He was attacked and beaten by school mates. Jane is getting the runaround encountering resistance in getting him reassigned to a different school. The bully was arrested by the police, but it has not stopped him. Read this for an update.

Do you want to help get her son in a school where he can concentrate on learning and not have to worry about his immediate safety? 

Blogfia has a job for you.

Email the principal, Mrs. Clark at llclark@lbschools.net and let her know that you are disappointed in their lack of cooperation and their failure to keep Islaam safe. The matter has recently been presented to the superintendent, Christopher J. Steinhauser. We are hoping he will be more helpful. You can reach him at lbetschel@lbschools.net and let him know that you are familiar with Islaam’s case at Jefferson Middle School and that you have seen photos of the brutal attack and that you are SURE they will do the right thing and provide him with a safe learning environment at another school within their district.

Please send a copy to Jane at knottylbc@yahoo.com for her records.

If you would like to join us by posting a plea for help on your blog, Jane would be very grateful. Tweet using the #blogfia hashtag. You may copy my post and tweek it to fit yours if you wish. Please grab the blogfia button as well.

Our goal is to have their inbox flooded with emails by tomorrow morning when they get to work. 

Please send emails up until 3 pm EST / noon PST on Saturday, April 24. 

If Jane doesn't get a positive response we may do it again next week. We will give them an adequate amount of time to respond, but will stay on them if needed.

If you need a sample email to send you may copy mine.

Dear Ms. Clark,

I have been following the story about the recent attack on a student in your school, Islaam, and I am outraged that he has not been given an opportunity to transfer to another school. Your lack of action in this case is unacceptable. How are children supposed to learn if they are in an environment where they fear for their safety? Your inability to protect him is a serious issue. I am hoping you will take the necessary steps to protect this child’s mental and physical well being and do whatever is necessary to rectify this situation immediately. 

Dear Mr. Steinhauser,

I have been following the story about the recent attack on a student at Jefferson Middle School, Islaam, and I am disappointed that he has not been provided an opportunity to enroll in another school within the district. Children need to be provided with a safe environment to learn. I hope you will move quickly to rectify this situation so that Islaam will be able to get back in school as soon as possible and work towards healing emotionally from the brutal attack. Please do not let this young man down. 

Update:

WE DID IT YA'LL!!! 

No more emails necessary! 

Thanks guys! The Blogfia ROCKS!

<a href="http://www.princessofsarcasm.com/2010/03/what-i-meant-to-say-9th-edition-we-are.html"><img src="http://i755.photobucket.com/albums/xx200/amberlaha/blogfia.png" /></a>

Supah's Survivor Challenge-The Dating Game with Harv

Supah's Survivor Challenge was way less time consuming fun this week
.
First...we had to design a muppet character. Mine was easy.

Meet (prin)Cessy Sarcasm...

Looks just like Mimi from The Drew Carey Show me, right?

Hawtness......fo sho.

Next, answer a serious of questions to try to win over Harv's icy cold heart in The Dating Game.

Tell me about yourself in 200 words or less.

Hello Haaaarvvv...I am a 29 year old (shut. up.) smokin’ hot puppet who likes to take long walks on the beach (well, as long of a walk as it takes to get to the ice cream cart), romantic dinners (fruity pebbles by candlelight is my fav) who is looking to do the dirty for a long term relationship with a like minded puppet such as yourself.

As you might have noticed, I am a bonafide princess....

OH YES, I AM!! 

*sticks tongue out, folds arms and looks away* 

So it will take a special kind of puppet to keep up with my demands desires. I’m certain you will make a good victim candidate. (Wait, what? Harv is selecting the date? Not me? What kinda idiot made that decision? Supah Mommy? Who the heck is that? Never heard of her....)

Anypuppet, I love the movie Muppets take Manhattan....one day I’m going to have my knights take Manhattan for me. My favorite song is “It’s Not Easy Being Green.” (See, I got my minions to do some research.) I also notice you like to do some hosting...so I’m guessing you like to be the center of attention. I have no problem stepping back and letting you have the limelight. <---Total lie. That will never happen. I will shove you aside much like Ms. Piggy manhandles Kermit.

The one thing I can sincerely promise you (if there is ever any sincerity with someone who has the last name “Sarcasm”) is to be the butt of all my jokes there will be lots of laughs.

If you were an ice cream, what kind would you be and why?

Chunky Bacon Chip, cuz I know how much Haaaarv likes the porkchops. 

*winky winky*

On a first date, what animal are you most like and why?

Laughing Hyena, no wait, that will be you. 

I would be.....a piranha, a bull, a lion...a UNICORN! Why? Cuz I like to be the center of attention for people to notice me.

Harv, I’ll do anything for you BUT...

Wait....I have to do stuff for you? This might not work out so well.....

On our first date I text you that I am sick, how do you respond?

That’s fine. I was worried about how I was going to schedule you and your brother in the same night anyway. Get well soon.



Ok, Harv. Those are my answers. You'll either love me or hate me, but either way, you won't be surprised by thinking you've picked someone icky sweet nice and then find out on the first date they are me bitchy. What I can guarantee is that you will have lots of fun and laugh.... All. Night. Long. *winky winky*

So pick me Harv! And we will leave those other puppets in the dust ride off into the sunset together.

We are down to five contestants left! If you want to see the other soon to be losers entries, click here.

Death by Legos

 Today my youngest son came up to me and handed me his 
Indiana Jones lego plane....in pieces. 

He was distraught...my son...not Indie. Indie never gets rattled.

“Mommy (he calls me Mommy...not Princess) can you fix this?”

*picture big greenish, brownish, goldish, amberish, hazelish 

(we have no idea what color to call them) eyes with tears welling up*

Me: “Of course son! I will put it back together for you. 

Don’t cry dear. I’ll have it done in a jiffy.”

I mean, how hard can it be? 

*rookie statement*

When he brought the plane to me it looked like this.

After I dropped it on the hardwood floors, it looked like this. 

*insert forehead slap*

Okay...I can still do this. I’m smart. I’m educated. I have a masters degree 

for heaven's sake. It’s a toy that’s labeled for ages 7-14 years. 

I got dis!

Fast forward to 2 hours and 15 minutes later.....

Son of a biscuit eater!!! I just wasted my entire afternoon! 

Why didn’t I just quit you ask? Cuz my daddy didn’t raise no quitter. 

(Though my grammar is questionable at times.)

Why did it take me so long? 

Two pieces. 

Tried to leave them out after the first hour. Apparently they are "magic" 

pieces that make the whole bloomin' thing work.

What did my son say when I proudly displayed the repaired plane? 

Nothing...he had moved on to another project LOOOONG ago.

Do you see the face the smug Indiana Jones lego man is making at me?

I wonder what face he will make when I get out my secret 

weapon to insure I will never have to do this again?

Score one for the princess....

Yo Tweeps...How to get Twiffic Twaffic.4

This is all about following and meeting some new twitter friends.  It'll be fast, easy and in yo face.  So many people enjoyed it last time!

Image courtesy of Wolverine on August 20, 2009 by Dave Mott

Follow me by clicking the sign below.

by Twitter Icons

DIRECTIONS: To play along and increase your twitter twaffic do the following: 

1.   Follow the first  4 Twitter Twaffic hosts listed on the linky.  Netiquette and courtesy!   They'll reciprocate your love on twitter!

2.  MAKE A BLOG POST LIKE I  am doing. Copy and Paste these directions. 

3.  Grab the YO Tweeps Twaffic Exchange Button pictured below. Put him in your post. (He's so cute. Put him on your sidebar too if you're that kinda girl. Netiquette...not a hairspray ;)  lol )

Encourage your readers to come to our page and grab the button too!

<a href="http://www.princessofsarcasm.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" alt="" src="http://i148.photobucket.com/albums/s27/dperry_2007/yotweeps-1.png" /></a>

5.  Put  YOUR OWN  twitter icon / link on your blog post like I did. It should directly link to your TWITTER PROFILE.  (There are directions below if you need.)

6.  Now link up your Yo Tweeps post below in the linky!

7.  Visit some other #YOtweeps linkers on the list. 

8.  Follow them if you choose and shout out to them on twitter that you are following so they can instantly follow you if they're on. (Follow their blog as well if you're interested.) 

Example:   @personsname #yotweeps  I'm following!  

9. If someone follows you JUST reciprocate on twitter. It's that easy. 

Spread the word.  WE'LL BE BACK every week TO DO THIS AGAIN! 

P.S.  Tweetdeck.com is AWESOME and makes this game of twitter SO MUCH EASIER and fun.

How to make a twitter ICON: 

http://twittericonfactory.com/

http://www.twittericon.com/

http://www.hongkiat.com/blog/100-remarkably-beautiful-twitter-icons-and-buttons/  

FIND ONE...  that you like.  Download it and put your name on it with a site like photobucket, picnik.com , photoshop, paint etc. Then upload  it to your blog post and link your twitter profile to it directly!    

I'm expecting this thing to spread so fast....the CDC will add it to their list of infectious diseases. So drink your orange juice and stock up on chicken soup. You might also want to get some twitterbiotics.

Now go............follow and be followed.  If you don't already have Twitter....join the party! We promise...no hazing.  AND NO SPAMMING! We will send the Blogfia after you if you do.

Supah's Survivor Challenge-Kentucky Derby Hat

Guess what boys and girls....that’s right. It’s time for Supah’s challenge. What did our esteemed host ask us to do this week?

Make a Kentucky Derby hat for her to wear. (Yeah right, like that mother of three young girls is going to get to go anywhere.)

Here are the rules for construction stolen copied straight off Supah’s post.

You may only use...

Tape

any kind

and

Tissue paper - any color etc.

( the kind that you would put in gift bag)

scissors

What the heck?! I’ll bet Supah hasn’t even tried to do this! It was sooo hard! But I persevered. Project Runway got a pirated copy of this blog post before I officially released it and they are filling out the necessary paperwork for a restraining order begging me to come be on their show.

I would totally wear this in real life. 

It’s HAWT right? 

Fit for a princess? I really wanted to add in my tiara too, but I was afraid I’d be disqualified for including something other than tissue paper, tape, and scissors. 

How can you not love it with the off center ’80’s throw back pink and aqua tissue paper flowers and the pink and black polka dotted tissue feather? (Which was near impossible to get to stand straight up! Seriously...quite a feat right there! I should win for my magic skillz alone.


Would you wear it? I'm now taking orders....get your credit cards ready.