Friday, October 2, 2009

Open Letter to Black Volvo Station Wagon in Carpool Line









Dear Black Volvo Station Wagon,

Kindly please pull ALL THE WAY FORWARD in the carpool line. 

Seriously!!! Two spaces?! You leave a gap the size of two full-size cars between you and the car in front of you?!?

Why? Because you don't want your precious little ones to walk too far? 

You realize you are contributing to the childhood obesity epidemic right? 

You are also going to contribute to my propensity to become a serial killer if you don't cut. it. out! 






(The drive to school was already excruciating enough thanks to getting behind my friend "Lucy" who apparently does not realize that thing on the floorboard to the right is the gas pedal. Not to mention we overslept and were trying our darndest to get to school on time so I wouldn't get the disapproving look from Mrs. Bulldog as we squealed in on two wheels.) 




Back to the Volvo...not only did you hold the Princess up, you held up the entire line of crazed moms trying to look good in front of the powers that be. 

Not a smart move Volvo. 


You are now on my list...


Signed,
Your Worst Nightmare


12 comments:

Poolside with the Girls said...

I don't miss car line, not one bit. School should have someone out there directing car line. It just never goes well.

Good luck!

Sabrina said...

Volvo...seriously, you should just transfer to a different school now. There is no hope for you to ever fit in :(

Kristi B said...

Thank God I don't drive a black volvo !!! You scare me . . .

amybagwell said...

HA HA HA!! Love it! That Mrs. Bulldog sure is doing a good job! She needs a raise!

Anonymous said...

Oh no you didn't!

Anonymous said...

Who do you think you are? Your soul is just like mine. You aren't better than me!

Princess of Sarcasm said...

Dear Anonymous person,
#1. No, I do not think I am better than you. I'm probably not near as fabulous as you.

#2. If you were offended, you did not read my post correctly...or you happen to drive a black volvo and think I was talking about you. This post was a gross exaggeration of carpool lines at every school. It was meant to be read with humor and with a sarcastic tone. It's my thing...to joke around about everyday life and (hopefully) make people laugh. If you read my other posts, you will find that I do not identify ANYONE directly and I make fun of myself too! I'm an equal opportunity spewer of sarcasm. The only thing that was probably "historically correct" in this post was that we are ALL a bunch of crazed mom's (and dads) who are desperately trying to get our children to school on time due to whatever catastrophe happened during our morning routines. (Hmmmm....that could turn into a post idea...)

#3. PLEASE, read all of my posts with a grain of salt. As it says in my profile description. "My intent is not to offend anyone....EVER....but to make you laugh."

As to the others...Kristi B...Be afraid. Very afraid. I am a scary, scary person. LOL

Amy B....That Mrs. Bulldog definitely needs a raise...and a new bulldog suit after standing outside all these hot days. *holds nose*

SupahMommy said...

princess

carpooling is "so fun". :) So is bloggin huh?
( shakes head up and down, eyes wide..conveying secret message)

Princess of Sarcasm said...

Totally hearing you....message received. Nodding my head in agreement.

CraftyCass said...

Dear Princess...
I truly think that you should have hit that "DELTE" button on Anonymous 1 because frankly...no one forced them to read your blog! If I got on my sarcastic soap box...I'd have a lot of deleting to do..because it would be unhealthy for ME to reply to them!!

One Cluttered Brain said...

Came to see you what you are up to from Supah. LOVED the SKYPE session with her. Total hiariousesness, (Is that a word?) LOVED the glasses. How long have you been blogging out of curiousity? Have you considered vlogging with that costume on? I'd watch for sure. so funny.

And I totally get you on the car pool thing. I get that it might make you want to kill someone. :))

One Cluttered Brain said...

Hilariousness that's the word I was aiming for...LOL! Can you do three way skype? You me and SUPAH? We'd have a blast!