It's Not a Party 'til Somebody Cries

Our youngest heir has the dreaded "Christmas birthday." We always try to make sure he doesn't get short changed....which means we tend to go overboard. Ever since he was 3 years old, he has been begging for a dirt bike.



Me: "Psshhhh....you can't get a dirt bike when you don't even know how to ride a bike without training wheels!"


Heir, the younger: "Why?"


Me: "Cuz dirt bikes don't have training wheels!!"


The little heir didn't give up his dream. In fact, he learned to ride his bike without training wheels when he was 4. 


Heir: *rides bike up street*

Me: *screams, yells, claps, like  a complete idiot proud mama*


Heir: "Yay! Can we go get my dirt bike now?"


Me: "Huh? NO! I didn't say you could have a dirt bike when you learned to ride your bike. I said you couldn't have a dirt bike if you can't even ride without training wheels!"

*insert crushed look on his sweet little angelic face*

It's been over 2 years and the little heir has not given up his dream. The prince finally wore me down talked me in to letting him have one for his birthday this year.


When my little man turned the corner of the garage and saw his little red Honda sitting in the driveway, he was speechless. He just stood there frozen looking at it. It took several minutes for him to realize it was not a dream. We were all very excited. There's no better feeling than making your kids' fantasies come true.

After getting suited up complete with helmet, boots, knee pads, elbow pads and 40 yards of bubble wrap, little heir was ready to give it a try! 

Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned....unless the menu was a slight wreck with a side of tears....yeah, not quite the magical experience I was looking for...

Disclaimer: Now before you judge me for not running over there to check on him like the prince....let me tell you that this boy cries at EVERYTHING from a gash in his forehead to a hangnail. So I've learned to wait until I see blood until I react. Otherwise, the hysteria is worse.


We probably should have spent a little more time working on how to use the brakes.......

*insert little boy crying and saying he does NOT want to get on the dirt bike again*

Prince & Princess: "You're fine. Take a deep breath. I don't see anything in your eye. Quit crying. Calm down. No, your eye is fine. Stop crying. You need to get back on and try again. It's okay. We told you that you would fall some. You're wearing all kinds of safety gear. You're not hurt. Suck it up! Stop crying. Dry it up and get back on that bike!!!


Heir: "But my eye is really hurtinggggggg!!!"


Prince & Princess: "You're fine! Get back on that bike. Do you want us to take it back and get you some legos?!"

*insert hesitation before he answers*

Heir: "No, I want my dirt bike." (said in quiet, unsure voice)


Prince & Princess: "Well then you better get back on it right now!!"


This went on for quite a while.


When we were out looking at dirt bikes and making decisions, we had big dreams. He was going to get on the bike and ride all over the yard smiling from ear to ear while I took pictures and video of his glorious moment. 


He ended up riding it a tiny bit more before we left for dinner, but only under protest. 

Later, at dinner, I noticed his eye was a little red and starting to get puffy. GREAT! Just my luck! He's going to get a shiner!!!! 


I was so relieved when he woke up without a black eye, but I am sure his 6th birthday will be a topic he will discuss in his future therapy sessions when he blames stuff on me......I just hope he remembers his daddy was there too!


Tune in next year when parents of the year we get him a death machine four wheeler with a new accident and dismemberment insurance policy racing helmet for his 7th birthday....