Wednesday, February 10, 2010

What I Meant to Say - 6th Edition





It's time for another edition of Chief's "What I Meant to Say."


Let me set the story...


I went to lunch and a movie with my girlfriends (Lucy, Serena, Peaches, Hugs, and until I think of a better nickname....LL Buff Chick) recently. The waiter brought my order and it was wrong. When I brought it to his attention, he asked what I had ordered. I replied, "The chicken ciabatta sandwich." To which he replied, "That IS the chicken ciabatta sandwich."


Me: "Ummm...nope. This is a fried chicken breast with cheese and marinara. The sandwich I ordered is a blackened chicken breast with grilled peppers."


Douchebag Waiter: "We don't have a grilled chicken ciabatta sandwich."


Me: "Uh, yes you do. I order it all the time."


My friend Lucy: "Yep. I've been here with her when she has ordered it!"


Moron: "You'll have to show me on the menu."


Me: "Fine. Bring me one. I'll show you."


Dumbo brings me a menu. I point to the left hand side of the menu to the chicken jack ciabatta sandwich.


Ignoramus: "Ohhhhhhhh...THAT chicken ciabatta sandwich. We thought you meant the chicken PARMESAN ciabatta sandwich."


He then proceeds to apologize profusely.


What I said: I'm not upset. I just don't want the chicken parmesan sandwich. I would like the one I pointed to on the left side of the menu and not the new item on the right side of the menu. Thank you. I will be happy to wait."


What I meant to say: "Get your hiney back there and start grillin' my chicken! And next time don't treat me like an idiot. Oh, and you might want to LEARN YOUR OWN STINKIN' MENU!! Hurry up because all my friends have their food already!"


The weasely waiter kept apologizing every time he passed by...and unfortunately, our table was near the kitchen door....which means he was giving me an update on the status of my food and letting me know how sorry he was every 40 seconds. At one point he put his hand on my shoulder as he passed by.


What I said: Nothing. *wide eyes at my friends who were all stifling giggles* Well, all except for Hugs. She was laughing out loud. 


What I meant to say: "Gross. Get your grubby little hands off of me. I bet you wouldn't have touched me if my mammoth sized Prince was with me."


After he FINALLY brought me my sandwich, he came over to the table (again!), squatted down beside me and apologized for the eleventy billionth time. (I stole that number from JenFab.) He then made a grand production of presenting me with a coupon for a free appetizer on my next visit.


What I said: "Thanks."


What I meant to say: "What a lame gesture after ARGUING with me about whether or not the sandwich was a figment of my imagination! How about you bring all my girls a dessert for THEIR trouble since they were all finished eating by the time you brought my food and had to sit around waiting for me to polish off my sandwich!"




Don't forget to participate in this week's edition of The Skew on Thursday. In honor of Valentine's Day....ROMANCE. What does it mean to you?

Tell us about it and come back to link up. If you don't, there will be no love for you!


28 comments:

Sabrina said...

WHAT?!! It's still Tuesday here...I'm coming back tomorrow to read this entry...this just ain't right!

Unknown said...

OH yeah I would have been TICKED. a free appetizer well whoop de doo don't strain or anything to make it right good grief..

Unknown said...

what a douch! seriously a free app thats it!

Meeko Fabulous said...

See, I use to work as a waiter so it pisses me the eff off when my order is wrong! Also, I hate being touched by strangers. It drives me up a wall. I have this bubble thing, you know?

Coryanne Ettiene | Kitchen Living with Coryanne said...

cant wait to get back to the land of telling waiters off, over here they just spit in your food and everyone looks at you as the crazy yank who caused a stir.

Kmama said...

Ooh, you are so much better than me. I would have been irate, especially after he touched me.

I'm sorry you had crappy service.

Krista said...

Ugh!! I hate it when someone is wrong and just won't admit it. This gives me an idea for next week WIMTS.....

Ducky said...

Hmmm? The TIP? You mean I wasn't suppose to leave a little scrap of paper that says TIP: DON'T RUN WITH SCISSORS?

Hmmm....well...that's the only kind of tip I have. Sorry

Ed said...

I never have to pay when shit like this happens to me. It must have been because you're a lady. In fact, the last time something like this happened was at Applebee's, and not only did we eat for free, but left with a certificate to eat free the next time.

Shell said...

Lame! He definitely should have given you dessert for free- or even your sandwich for free.

carissajade said...

Agreed!!! You should have definitely gotten something free out of it for all of you!! Or maybe a song or something...I bet he was so embarrassed though!!

Unknown said...

He must have a 2nd job at American Girl Doll customer service.

VandyJ said...

I know someone who didn't get a tip or got the insulting type of tip. I also know where you won't be eating lunch for a while.

Evonne said...

That's crazy! You should have gotten your sandwich for free. Not a coupon to return to a place that pissed you off.

Margaret said...

What a totally jack ass!!!!!!

Unknown said...

what an ass
I mean your ONE job is to get my order right
come one

but i would have laughed too

Jessica Jones
www.atlmomguide.com

Chief said...

you shoulda slipped him the tongue... you mighta got another sandwich!

Messy Mommy said...

I'm always afraid they'll spit on my food or something if I make a stink.

Tracie said...

He should have given you a free meal. And the manager should have apologized to you, too.

Tina said...

Dinner on the house!!

Megan said...

Seriously? WTH? A free appetizer? I would have been all bitchy and demanded that i at least got the stupid sandwich free. Or at least the free dessert and then i might have dropped the lawsuit from the emotional damages i incurred from 1.)the waiter arguing and then touching me....(ewww) 2)being felt like i was rushed to eat!


happy HUMPday!

BNM said...

DARN!!! Your post reminded me of something I meant to put on WIMTSW!! I complained to AppleBees about the burnt food that we were served .. i submitted the complaint over the internet.. the manager calls me back and says "sorry we ruined your meal" and then hung up in my face! Ugh!!!

I hate going to restraunts!! Ppl are so rude and dont listen for shiznit!

Lisa said...

LOL! I hate when they get your order wrong then your waiting while everyone else is eating.
My son refuses to complain if his is wrong,he's scared they'll spit in it if they have to redo it!

God I hope they don't.

April (Mama is on the Potty) said...

He just didnt want you to stick you foot up his stupid hiney! That, and he wanted to save some of his tip.

I HATE it when people I don't know touch me. HATE IT! I am like back the truck up...having you seen the leaver 2000 comericals? 3 feet of personal space bud!

love the post!

Meg @ Higgins Happenings said...

What a Dbag! That's hilarious tho - 'Cept I wouldve told him to get his grimey hands off me! I dont like to be touched, especially by ppl I dont know! lol

Anonymous said...

Why on earth did he think touching you was gonna make up for scewing up your sandwich? Maybe you should have left a handwritten tip on respecting peoples personal space! =)

Working Mommy said...

You know, I used to be on the waiter side of things and I hated it...it i tough work and it definitely wasn't for me - b/c I can't keep my mouth shut. So I always hate those waiters who treat me like an idiot...ugh!! when THEY are the idiots (who need to get new jobs)!!!

~WM

Lothiriel said...

It irks me when strangers touch me. When I was pregnant a lady came up to me and touched me. I was very angry, so I said (I really did say it), "usually I get a dinner and movie first before I let people get to second base with me." She told me I was rude couldn't take a compliment and walked away. It's called my personal space--step away from it!

I was a waitress for three years myself. I don't like it when they mess up my food.