Thursday, February 25, 2010

The Skew - I did NOT have sexual relations with George Clooney...or Tiger's Wood.

This week on....THE SKEW


I don't even have the energy to go into some funny intro where I rip Supah a new one for throwing a pen in my eye during our first episode. (Yes, I am still bitter....and blind.) 

I am so exhausted from our own little family Olympics (shut up MIITB) called "Spring sports overlap with basketball and Princess should have said NO to both boys playing baseball AND flag football." Two weeks of hell are in order until basketball will be over. 

Thank GOD Chief is back from smuggling exotic men birds under the ruse of a family cruise to Mexico. JennFab might not make it because she got caught in some kind of major blizzard in Austin. MIITB is too busy watching all of her Chicago losers homies on American Idol. 

What do I think of the Tiger Woods Dog and Pony Show press conference? 

I think it was all for the there’s no way to tell how he really feels. There have been tons of PR people orchestrating his return to the spotlight. And I guarantee he had nothing to do with the speech....other than memorizing what NIKE they told him to say.

His little choreographed pauses, long stares into the camera, and "gulps" made me want to spit at my TV. But then I would have had to clean it....and I don't like hard labor. So I didn't. 
I don’t think Tiger's extremely whorish overly active sex life has anything to do with him being an athlete. But his narcissism does. Has anyone been paying attention? Most athletes have been treated as gods for decades. Is it any wonder they are starting to believe that they really ARE gods? 

Here's a screenshot of my facebook status...which names and identities changed of course:

I did not choose to continue this conversations on facebook. But I'll go ahead and throw in my .78 cents here...

"No excuse for his actions??? Well over 50% of Americans disagree, as the majority of cheating spouses..."

I think Tiger HAS an excuse. (Sexual addiction.) I just don't think it's an acceptable one for his GROSS misconduct! We are not talking about a man who had a MOMENT of weakness...or even an isolated affair. We're talking about a man who literally had  one twelve in every nook & cranny town!

"He is human and if you had George Clooney...."

Oh, so that makes it okay? Dang. I shouldn't have turned George away all those times. I sure wish I hadn't torn up his phone number. * me.*

"I for one am putting the rocks aside..."

Ok, I'm not one who typically judges people. I whole heartedly believe that it is not my place to judge someone else. I believe in redemption. I believe people can most certainly work hard to change the person they are into the person they want to be. I believe in taking someone's character for who they are NOW and not what they used to be. Notice my status was not one of judging...but making a statement about his PR team.

However, in the spirit of not judging....does that mean we should let people completely off the hook? That the public should immediately embrace him and welcome them with open hearts and minds? Tiger got to experience all the joy and happy endings when he was in the throes of his "addictive behaviors." Should he be robbed of the experience of painful CONSEQUENCES?!

At the risk of this post going on and on cuz Lord knows I could...I will begin to wrap it up. (The Skew is not a two hour special interview.)

But before I do, I want to address one more point Tiger made in his press conference.

He pleaded with the world to please NOT blame ELIN for ANYTHING.

*crickets chirping as the wind blows dust and tumbleweeds*

WHAT?! Blame ELIN?!

Who's blaming Elin for anything?! other than not going all Lorena Bobbit on his hobbit 

Not me. Unless you want me to blame her for being stunningly gorgeous, yet married to a troll.

Okay. I'm done.

Feel free to agree or disagree.

What is your skew? Tell us, grap the button code over on my sidebar and then link up.


Adoption of Jane said...

You sure you didn't do the Dirty with George & Tiger... 5 bucks say I have the pics to prove it (rumor says they were holding the Camera while you wore nothing but a Pink Boa and a Ghetto Peace Sign! Hey we gotta link up on FaceCrack!

Margaret said...

I think he is a pig and his press conference did nothing for me and I don't think he meant any of it.

Jessica said...

Oh guuuurrrrl! Amen. You said it.

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

I blame Elin for not filing for divorce as soon as he got in that car. She should take everything she can get including the children & move to take island she owns!

Celebraties are stupid to think they won't get caught. Hello! You're Tiger Woods having sex with a Waffle House waitress. You don't think she wants her 15 minutes of fame.

CountessLaurie said...

I am curious as to whether male friend is married. Cuz if that were my husband and his opinion, I'd be getting my golf club ready. And how insulting that he insinuate you would stoop to being a cheater for George Clooney! Seriously. Can we have a skew on Male Friend now?

Kmama said...

LOL at Countess' comment!! Amen to it all.

Michelle Pixie said...

I have to agree with CountessLaurie as well! You are so right girl!!

April (Mama is on the Potty) said...

I think it is all a bunch of cow crud. He sould only be appoligizing to his wife. He didn't do a thing to me. The only relavent news coming from him would be when he is going to play golf again.

Kat said...

Elin is a classy lady...that's all I have to say.

Ed said...

Tiger is a douche. Elin is too good for him.

WhisperingWriter said...

Tiger Woods. Boo.

His mistresses are no better. They're all, "Where are our apologies?" Um. No where skanks.

The Blue Zoo said...

As soon as I heard he was blaming his "sex additction" I knew he wasnt sorry!! He's an ass. Plain and simple. I hope his wife takes everything he's got. Except for the mad case of crabs Im sure he's caught.

Triplets Plus Two Momma said...


LMJ said...

You've said EVERYTHING I've felt about this, and then some!!

There's no more to add!!

Candice said...

I totally agree with you. I even blogged about this the day it all went down.

He's a jackass, and if his wife stays with him, she's an even bigger jackass than he is.