The Princess of Sarcasm is thinking about starting a blog...
This is the status update I wish I was brave enough to post on Facebook.
But then I stop and think....what if people think I’m stupid? (Too late.)
What if I AM stupid?
What am I thinking?
People tell me I am sooo funny and that they visit my facebook page just to see the sarcastic banter.
What if the only reason I’m funny is because my FRIENDS are funny....and my page is just the vessel?
But then I think....what if I really AM funny. Not like *insert name of favorite superstar comedian here* funny, but funny enough, funny.
I often joke, “If they would pay you to facebook, I’d be rich.” But it’s true! (Not because I'm that funny...but because I'm so dedicated to it.) So.......why am I facebooking for free? *insert overinflated ego*
Is it possible to make money by saying the same (stupid) things I say on facebook? And I’m not talking a lot of money.....just a little here and there. Enough to keep my husband from rolling his eyes and shaking his head every time he walks into the house and sees me making love to my laptop.
But then I panic again.....I haven’t taken an English class since college....which judging by the wrinkles that scream at me when I look in the mirror....was a loooooong time ago. Long enough to forget enough to make me look stupid. (Recurring theme.)
Ahhhhh....but wait....apparently you don’t have to know how to spel gud or rite cumpleet sin10sis in the cyber world. Cuz my friends know how I loooooove to use extra letters, symbols and insert *stuff* when I type.
Mrs. Land didn’t like it when we would use words like “gonna” in our high school term papers.
But I’m not in Mrs. Land’s class anymore, am I?
Gonna gonna gonna!!!!
Ha!! Take THAT Mrs. Land!
(Kidding....I totally looooved Mrs. Land and hope that one day she’ll read my stuff and overlook the horrible grammatical errors that are intended for humor and to make it feel like real conversation and not for the academic board and will like it even though there are multiple errors and horribly long run-on sentences that make people read the sentence several times before they can possibly understand what the heck I’m saying.)
What the heck WAS I saying? Anyway....
And then I think....what if I don’t have anything to say one day......or for 3 months? Bahahahahahahahah....yeah, I know....like that will ever happen. More like, what if I piss too many people off by saying too much. (Wouldn’t be the first time....won’t be the last.)
Hmmm....maybe there’s not too much to lose here. After all, I’m already spewing my sarcasm on a daily basis.
Now....what I really need is someone that will read this and tell me the truth. Think. Think.
*arms crossed* *index finger tapping on lip* *eyes looking up*
I’d really like to show this to "Lucy." She laughs at EVERYTHING I do or say. (I heart her.) She’s my own little personal Tony Robbins. No doubt....the most encouraging, supportive friend I have EVER had. She would read this and tell me to GO FOR IT! (Even if she fell asleep while reading.)
No, what I need is someone brutal.
*resuming thinking stance*
Ahhhhh!
*eyes light up*
Kat! She’s my friend who is ALWAYS brutally honest. Whether I ask her to be or not....even if it hurts. Yep....she’s the one. I’m emailing this to her. But I’m also going to stand and watch Lucy read it so I can hear her supportive laughter to counteract the brutual truth from Kat. :)
****The names in this post have been changed to protect the identity of real people. If you don't like your nickname or if you have a better suggestion, I will consider changing it.****
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8 comments:
You're a licensed professional counselor? I shudder to think. Shudder? Shutter? Shutter up. Shut who up? Shooooot. I'll follow ya. You'll have to call the police on me. -jackie
(you can follow me, too, but yours looks like a lot more fun. all you're missin' is photos.)
I bet if you'd known that little ditty, you would have been double reading everything before you posted. I have plenty to analyze already, so it really won't matter if you start now.
I'm going to work in somehow, sometime that I loooooove photography! (And that you are my mentor!) How 'bout you take a pic of me and make it look real princess like so I can post it on my page....and give you props, and your info listed with it, of course.
I look forward to taking out a restraining order on you.
I liked Ms. Land (something there is that doesn't love a wall, that sends the frozen ground swell under it) and have fun memories of both Number 1 son and Number 2 son, but once, while taking a test, she decided to start going through my book bag and notebooks stating that "if it was in her class it WAS her business" After doing the best job I've ever done of not screaming BITCH, I walked out, (failed the test obviously) and went to the office to change classes. While I hated that situation, I do credit it with the first time in my life that I truly stood up for myself and didn't shy away or use someone/something else to make my stand. But she doesn't get credit for it.... :)
Awww...PC, thanks for sharing. I hate that you had that experience. I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself and setting boundaries. (Counselor talk.) My therapeutic couch is always open for you. :)
And thank you sooooooo much for visiting my blog. I hope you are a frequent visitor!
i sent you something, and then when it arrived in my inbox, i realized i sent it to everyone. thank god it wasn't something awful. lol
I LOVE IT!!! You are awesome. And as soon as I have time to figure out how to get it on here I am doing it!!!
And yes, thank goodness....cause there's no telling what you could have sent. ;)
I'll wait until you're more established to send those things! Glad you like it!
I am thanking God that I never had Mrs. Land for HS English...if she can instill angst and rebellion in her students this far down the road, I am sure I would have upset her (I typed 'p!$$@d her off' and deleted it, out of respect for your Mom!) and would have been removed from her class!
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